To start this blog, I want to go back for a minute. Let’s go back to about 7 months ago.
It’s May of 2020, and I’m sitting in my car listening to my anthem at the time, “I Surrender” by Hillsong Worship. Every time the song ended, I hit the replay button. In that moment I couldn’t tell you why I wanted to listen to it so much. I later came to realize the words they were singing, were the truth I needed to be hearing right then
I didn’t have anywhere in particular I was going, as most things were shut down at this time, due to Covid-19. I just kept driving, and listening. I’d occasionally press pause, talk to God, and then play the song again.
“Find me here, Lord as you draw me near. Desperate for you, desperate for you. I surrender” Hillsong Worship
As I drove on a back road in the middle of nowhere, my eyes started to fill with tears. The song continued to play, and I continued to drive.
All the “why’s”, “when’s”, “who’s”, and “how’s”, I’d been asking God were answered simply in that moment. I needed to surrender to the Lord, and put my trust in Him (which we’ll get more into, in other posts). It wasn’t the answer I thought I’d get, but it was the answer I needed.
“Like a mighty storm, stir within my soul. Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way in me” -Hillsong Worship
After some time sitting in my car, praying and listening, I eventually started to head home. Sitting in the silence for a bit, a phrase came to mind, and I knew what I would need it for one day.
That phrase was “Total Surrender and Seeking Him” and I knew it would be the title of a blog someday. I had no intention on creating one in that moment, so I put the name in my notes for later use. I would forget about it, until I’d look through my notes, and every time I knew it still wasn’t time to write it.
A friend told me a few weeks ago that maybe I should start a blog. My mind went back to the note that was saved in my phone. That friend continued to encourage me to write. The note saved in my phone became more and more present in my mind.
I slowly began to create “Total Surrender” first just messing around with the designs. Thinking that’s as far as I would ever get with it. Then I continued on creating it, until all that was left was to write a post. Pretty sure that’s what I’ve been sitting here typing, so I guess we’re going for it.
Honestly, I have no clue what will happen with this blog. I know though whatever does happen with it, I want to encourage others in their faith, whether it be one post or one thousand. I want to continue to surrender and seek more and more of the Lord.
-Ellie Marie
Total Surrender 