Nothing but the Truth

“If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice truth.” 1 John 1:6

This verse right here calls out the middle ground territory. The balancing act of one foot in this world, and one foot in the kingdom of God. It calls out the idleness, and lack of pursuit in my heart lately.

To grow in anything, you have to practice. And that takes work. Intentional time in the word, carving out specific parts of your day for the Lord, going to your neighbor and loving them well. To grow in truth we must practice it!

But somedays I’m tired. Somedays I just want to aimlessly watch tv. Or my schedule is just so busy. All the while my Bible sits on my nightstand, as I click “next episode” In all honesty, this has been a pattern in my life recently. And day after day I’ve felt a numbness growing where there once was joy. Sure I still showed up to church, I’d play the occasional worship song on my way to work, but my time spent with the Lord became infrequent.

As the past few weeks went by, I’ve noticed slight changes in my thoughts. I’ve began to pick at my identity, and buy into lies easily. I’ve searched more for validation than for truth. I’ve let this become a routine, and have settled into it.

Until a few days ago, around midnight.

I had been trying to fall asleep for hours, but just couldn’t seem to. As I laid there, I replayed my day in my head. Moment after moment, I realized I did not even recognize myself anymore.

My heart broke with that realization. Because I was not living as I was called to be, a daughter of the true King. Instead I felt myself living in a weight of darkness.

I went to the Lord, filled with disappointment in myself and unrest. After that I went to some close friends, and asked them to join me in prayer. And to each of them I asked specifically for one thing; to be surrounded in His light.

*Also praise the LORD for the gift of community, and friends who care about your relationship with Christ*

The next morning I woke up to multiple messages of encouragement through scripture, and prayer. One friend invited me to join her in a study of Luke, one chapter a day. I knew I needed to get in to the word more, and this invitation was a reminder of that. So I pulled up the Dwell app, and listened to the first chapter of Luke on my way to work.

“To give knowledge of salvation to His people in their forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:77-79

As I drove and listened, I noticed how bright the sunrise was that morning, how beautiful it was. That’s when Luke 1:77-79 was read, and I was joyfully overwhelmed. These verses not only spoke directly to where my heart was at, but reminded me of the gift that the gospel is, and who I am in Christ!

My prayer to be surrounded by the light was answered in the literal aspect with the sunrise that morning, but also in the way that I found myself pushing in to God’s presence. The numbness that I had been feeling, was replaced with peace and joy.

His word is alive, and it fills our souls. These past few weeks have shown me how empty I am, apart from His truth. How unfulfilling the things of this world are. And why it is so important to be actively pursuing in my relationship with the Lord.

Are you actively pursuing truth, or settling into things of this world?

Over and over again the past few weeks, I have tried to figure out what was wrong. Why I felt so depleted, and how I could fix it. All of my solutions failed though, or caused me to feel like I was sinking lower.

But when I was brought to my knees with a heart of brokenness, it was then that I had started to have a deeper understanding that there is nothing that can truly satisfy, nothing but the truth.

-Ellie Marie